July 2011
1 post
2 months into my new job
and i still feel that something is missing from my life
January 2011
3 posts
love it →
happy new year!
a review of 2010:
a) getting called to the bar
b) finding out that i can’t wear contact lenses any more (after 4+ years of wearing them)
c) wearing a sari for the first time in my life
d) removing a cyst from my back
e) getting hospitalized for stupid reasons
f) getting multiple finger infections
g) upgrading to a bigger bedroom
h) buying a record low number of clothes
i) cutting my...
December 2010
1 post
October 2010
2 posts
one forty plus: What It All Comes Down To →
if only john would come down to singapore :(
jhnmyr:
Was handed this letter at a meet and greet on my last show of the tour:
“Dear John,
My name is James Thomas. I’m 17 years old and I’m so happy that I was finally able to meet you tonight. You changed my life by inspiring me to pick up a Martin and a Strat when I saw you live for the first time…
Watch
September 2010
5 posts
lies!
hr lady: so you sure you don't need the sticky board?
me: sure
hr lady: ok...and by the way, thought i saw you in jeans this morning...are you in jeans? you're not really supposed to wear 'em unless it's friday, and even then..
me: uh...im not wearing jeans. im wearing black pants
hr lady: right....cos they look kinda jeansy
me: uhh...do they? i mean they're just black pants. we jeansy pockets....
hr lady: right...
the incident at midnight
it was so scary
it was almost as if we were in a really cheap and bad horror movie
so cheap and bad
that it ended up looking like a comedy
we ended up laughing all the way home
things we take for granted.
my room mate in the office has been on the phone for the past 30 minutes.
with her traditional indian mother.
trying to explain how gmail works.
“matherrr….dount gooogle gmail.com. juuust dype gmail.com in the bbaaar!”
wow.
Infographic by College Scholarships.org
August 2010
3 posts
aw shucks.
i always get a little teary and emotional watching the national day parade
especially when they start featuring the ‘robo-warriors’
June 2010
2 posts
um
so the maid decides to microwave my sashimi sushi..
May 2010
12 posts
yea or neigh →
i see you
was in the car for a bit this morning and 2 minutes into the ride i realised a pair of eyes were staring right at me.
there was a gecko inside the car. literally less than a foot away from my body.
i hate geckos.
the last time i met one was on a sail boat somewhere out at sea. that was equally scary but at least i could’ve flicked the darn lizard out into the waters. this time i was...
great balls of fire.
yeah well this evening i put some pastry into the oven-toaster and then went out to see who was at the front of my house.
when i returned — which was just about 10 seconds later — i reached in for the pastry and as my hand touched it, i thought to myself “hey this thing’s pretty damn hot”
and only then did it hit me that it was literally on fire. and the damn thing...
a boring story.
my brother came home looking like a hammerhead shark. like me, my brother has crazy hair, except that his looks more like a birds’ nest than a lions’ mane.
i’m not sure if he was lying but according to my brother, a trainee barber was responsible for shaping his hair. anyways, the story goes:
bro: i need a haircut, just neaten up the ends etc.
barber: ok.
<barber takes the...
April 2010
7 posts
updates
people have been commenting on my bad hair, saying that i looked something like that mufasa or simba shit lion except with 2 feet and no tail. so anyways i decided to get my hair cut yesterday. doesn’t look any different today though.
anyways my alien friend picked me up for dinner/supper after i got my hair cut, and we headed off this really awesome place. so i was just sitting there and...
change is the only constant...
today, i surprised myself by becoming a retarded helicopter retarded monkey mosher
i woke up this morning with tears in my eyes.
i had a horrible nightmare about being forced to eat fresh cream.
NINJAS ARE THE ULTIMATE PARADOX!! →
good friday conversation in church
- during intercessory prayers -
me: (whispering to mom) is it just me or do you smell KFC?
mom: oops sorry i just farted.
March 2010
7 posts
noooooooooo →
p.s.
i have finally booked a flight to japan
i want free accommodation and a free tour
i also want to bring home a giant tuna.
trauma
i had to use the toilet real bad, but it was being cleaned, so i headed to the handicapped toilet.
the lady inside didn’t lock the door.
when i opened the door, i saw her with her skirt flipped up to her boobies and her hands over her thighs as she was pulling up her underwear.
it was terrible.
email conversations
V: This was what I was trying to convey during lunch but failed to do so as I had caved into performance anxiety -- "Mathematically speaking, everyone in Europe is related to Charlemagne. This is because everyone has two parents, four grandparents, eight great-grandparents and so on. By the time you get to the 13th century, you have more direct ancestors than have ever been human beings - about 80 billion. Therefore you must have shared ancestors. In 1995, a man called Mark Humphries at Dublin University discovered this information. He discovered his was wife was King Edward III's great-granddaughter 20 generations down the line. After closer examination, he discovered his wife was also related to Hermann Goring and American explorer Daniel Boone. He then managed to calculate the mathematics of the information."
C: Mark Humphries needs to get a life.
Top%2010%20at%2010%3A%20Mispronounced%20foodie%20wo... →
i should really show this to that girl from school who insists that “crêpe” is “creepy” and that penelope is “pen-a-lob”
February 2010
7 posts
the bravest men in the world →
very inspiring
poor child
i met a girl named fanny…
and she was very hairy…
how now brown cow
someone in the vicinity was apparently suffering from explosive shit syndrome.
2 of the 3 cubicles in the office’s ladies’ toilet had brownish thingies resting all over the toilet seats with residual watery looking chocolate-colored stains on the floor and cubicle wall dividers. bodacious.
the smells were too funky for anyones’ nostrils, we ended up going down 58 floors to head...
conversations in the office
C: ha. that's cute. you're walking like pink panther
F: heh yea pink panther's cute
C: and the best part is that pink panther's a tiger, right? (possibly referring to the upcoming chinese year of the tiger)
F: yea!! i love tigers!! (genuine excitement)
M: mm..guys, sorry, but i believe that pink panther's a panther..or something.
C&F: (horrified looks) NO! NO WAY! PINK PANTHER'S DEFINITELY A TIGER
M: uh okay suit yourself.